Sad,angry,irritated...

Yo Girls!!!

Dis one's specially for our girlie gang girls :)... I miss my girls..why r you so far away :(...You people hv seriously been my lifeline ever since i stepped into my college life..

Though we meet intermittently nw (infact sadly the four of us haven't met together since last day of college.. ) But even then smhw i never feel disconnected with u..we may have different exposures now but deep dwn we'r the same. Every talk i have with u makes up wel for all the times we don’t get to meet( ohk not completely but on a practical note i'll say this :P)!!! Our gal-gossips still revolves around college, our very own stylelexperiments, heart-aches and so on with an occasional philosophical and intellectual touch ;)... fond reminisces of what crazy times we’ve had together…:):) When you people are with me..It is always a period of total freedom, freedon of expression, freedom of enjoying the freedom..:)..You gave me a space where I could just be me..:)

We've had talks about everything..our hopes, our aspirations, things that make us ecstatic, things that make us sad, about things we dream of, things just thinking about which gives us ultimate pleasure;)...
We may not be the same, we may not be the best,yet we complement each other completely and in the best possible manner..and thats the beauty of it..:)...My three girls- Rakhi Singh, Chhavi Kothari, Pooja Singh...u'r simply the best in the world:)

Cheers to us!!!
Cheers to our Friendship!!!

p.s: sach mein "tera mujhse hai pehle k naata koi" :P

Today , all of a sudden i was taken back in time...years ago when life was soo very different...so very perfect!
And i realised im missing it bad...missing tht life back then...missing 'those' days...


When i used to wake up at 7.05 (school started at 7:50) without a care in the world and my mom used to hurry me up to school...while i continued with my dilly dallying ,telling her about the dream she had woken me from (and how she used to always manage to save me from the two headed monsters there by waking me up right on time :P)
When i used to take ages to eat my breakfast making small triangles of my sandwiches while my bus kids impatiently waited , fretting and fuming and going red in the face outta sheer frustration tht they'll have to reach class late again because of me...
 When i couldent tie my shoelaces and used to look up helplessly at my dad while he would try hard to look the other way cos he wanted me to learn...
When i used to wait for my birthday just to choose the shape of my birthday cake and the colour of my dress...from teddybear faces to buses to boats to airplanes, i had them all...i even remember having a "blue spider" shaped cake because i had insisted on it despite my parents warning me it would look funny...i only realised wht they meant when one my friends refused to eat it on my birthday...
When i used to make handmade cards for all my friends and family on special occassions like birthdays and anniversaries...(and also write letters to everyone)..
When i used to complain to my mom about teachers i hated, about classmates who would bully me and then feel happy when my mom gave me that big hug whenever i was sad..
err...i still do that sometimes, the only diff being i dont need to complain anymore...i just ask her for a hug and she knows :)
When i used to fake all those stomach aches, coughs and colds and anticipatory fevers juss so tht i could skip school...nobody fell for my acting ever...but i STILL tried! :-/
When i used to spend hours with my colouring book and crayons and water colours ...often getting more colour on myself than on the book...
When life was all about coming home, finishing up homework, watchin tv, goin out to play,eating and sleeping...no worries, no tensions, no problems to deal with...ahh! tht was life! :)
When "ramayan" and "mahabharat" were a must see for everyone at home every sunday and i used to sit glued to the tv to watch them...and hw did i miss "chandrakanta ki kahani" ;)...
When growing up was all about progressing from "tinkle","phantom", "mandrake" "amar chitrakatha" and "disney stories" to "archie comics" ,"famous five" "nancy drew"s...
When getting a gud rank in class was a big victory and i couldn't wait to get home and break the news to everyone...till it became a custom and everyone started taking it for granted ...hmpf!
When my mom hushed me down and hugged me between angry sobs and frustrated "why me's??" (yeah tht was a fav question even back then :-/) after getting a C grade (yes i did get one...still rem my class 5 sankrit ppr) at  consoling me tht we cant be good at everything...
When my dad celebrated my success however small, be it winning an essay competition or getting a poem published in some kiddo mag or bagging first place in class with "black magic" icecream...mmmmmmm! wonderful...cant beat any icecream anyday...they stopped making it now though and thts exactly one of the reasons i miss those days all the more :(


That innocence of childhood, the small joys of those magic years, the bedtime stories told by mom as she tried to make me sleep, the tiffs and fights i had with kids from the colony over barbie dolls and jigsaw puzzles,the competitions of who would eat the most chocolates and the eating of toffees till we were fed up of eating them,the coming home with soiled clothes after falling down from bicycles and jumping into puddles of mucky rain water, the sheepish grin we all had on our faces when any of the moms questioned us about it,the "eternal division" of kitkats and toblerones between me and my sis, and then preserving mine till she finished hers (heehee)----i miss it all...


Those magic moments leave us with soo many memories as they silently vanish with each coming year...and we grow up!
Grow up to a life devoid of all these simple pleasures, grow up to a life filled with other matters wch gain importance...
somewhere somehow we lose out on tht innocence of childhood...


and then one fine evening, juss outta the blues, we begin to miss them-'those' days..those wonderful times, the memories of which will be cherished for ever and for always.:)

a slice of Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara...

"Dilon me tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho,to zinda ho tum

Nazar me khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho,to zinda ho tum

Hwa ke jhokon ke jaise aazad rehno sekho

Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna sekho

Hr ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein

Hr ek pal ek nya sama dekhe nigahein

Jo apni ankhon mein hairanian leke chal rahe ho,to zinda ho tum

Dilon mein tum apni betabian leke chal rahe ho,to zinda ho tum!!!"

 Besides the awesome piece of poetry in the movie, there were many other magical moments which really stole my heart..The friendship was amazing!!!..the chemistry sizzling!!!...the adventure totally mind-blowing...it was not about the Perfect moments but the little imperfect moments:-)...U move out of the movie hall with a smile on yur face..and obviously planning your very own Spain getAway!!!


Nyways wondering why am i posting all this...hmm just hold of the super-sensational poetry by Javed Akhtar and just couldn't resist putting it here...

"Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama,

neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,

na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan,

sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,

keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,

bas main hoon,

meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein,

aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan,

aur main… sirf main.

Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya."

Awesum...just too gud :)..it just pulls your heart strings and refuses to let go..



"Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabrayaHumne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
Duniya mein yunhi hota haiYeh jo gehre sannate hain
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai..."

Just wanna go through these lines over and over again and they seem to bring out a new meaning everytime and teach me a new lesson!!!

just like that

There are things i dont like speaking about...

There are certain issues i would love to forget...

We all do that---each a different issue...a different worry...a different matter of concern...
and yet there are things which constantly keep changing the dynamics..lol!!

"Enjoy the moment" they say...probably ya, because thats the only thing u can be totally sure of----'the moment'

then why do people speak to me about 'backup plans' and 'backups to backup plans' and frown when i tell them i dont have any??
but i cant blame them either...because they going the normal wise way---the one which promises to make life predictable and stable...and they arn't aware that some people have lives just too stubborn to be tamed!

Backup plans are not for everyone!!
Some people are left with no other choice than to try and 'live' the moment and smile as they try to spread some smiles along the way :)...and i thnk i'm one of them!!! 

Yet another WEEKEND!!!

Its Sunday...yet another weekend in my life..:)

Somehow i've started liking Friday and Saturday much better than a Sunday...know why...coz there's Monday  waiting..lol:P

The most miserable thing in life is when you know there is something awaiting you at the end of the thing that you enjoy...thats the case with weekends too...the arrival of the dreaded busy,hectic,routine week ahead of the  fun and joy and clouds of merriment of the "Sunday"...:(

Somehow as the day ends to a close on a sunday, my ability to enjoy the moment also comes to a standstill..u know...smhw i can not "enjoy the moment" 'cause i keep on thinking on what lies ahead...i know its a crappy thought...spoiling the ride for the day..but then i just can't help it...can't just help get out of this...

Wonder what God had in mind while making me..lol:)

Why did he make me a thinker??(whatever dats supposed to mean...in my case thinking just too much often when there is no need)

But i am trying to change this ForTheBetter..don't know if i really can...because another of my well believed notion is dat "a person will hardly change" until and unless something really drastic happens..       

Hmm...yet another sunday...and i'm gonna enjoy this one...an attempt to remain happy:)...

in love with 'Tuesdays with Morrie'...

Just finished reading 'tuesdays with morrie' yet again...it is an amazing book by mitch albom....and one can't help but devour it in one stretch....it is a page-turner; a bestseller and yet it is something which will remain with u throughtout yur life....each word pulls yur heartstrings in such a way that u never want to let go...and fair enough if u follow what 'morrie' has to say, u will always be happy in life :)
The book speaks about a rekindled relationship of the Mitch with his dying professor...the only person who can understand him perfectly...just like he understands life....
Its heartwrenching and ironical how this man has so little of life and yet understands it like no one can....his perspective leaves u in awe just like it left mitch....
'Tuesdays with morrie' is one book ( among the few non fiction books dat i've read :P ) i will always hold dear and i cant help wishing i had known atleast one person half as wise as him :)...

Here are a few lines from the book which left a deep impact on me :  



"have i told u about the tension of opposites?"
the tension of opposites?
"Life is a series of pulls back and forth...u want to do one thing but u are bound to do something else...something hurts you, yet u know it shouldn't..u take certain things for granted, even when u know u should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites is like a pull on a rubber band and most of us live somewhere in the middle"

---------------


"sometimes in the mornings," he said "thats when i mourn..i feel aorund my body. i move my fingers and my hands what ever i can still move---and i mourn what i've lost.i mourn the slow incidious way in which im dying.But then i stop mourning"
just like that?
"I give myself a good cry if i need it.But then i concentrate all the good things still in my life.On the ppl who are coming to see me..on the stories im going to hear..On YOU-if its tuesday.Because we are tuesday people.
"mitch i dont allow myself any more selfpity than that...a little each morning..a few tears..and thats all"
--------------

"sometimes u cannot believe what u see..you have to believe what u feel..and if u ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that u can trust them to--even when u are in the dark...even when you are falling"
 
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"Take any emotion--love for a woman or grief for a loved one or what im going through, fear and pain from a deadly disease. If you hold back on the emotion--if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them---you can never get to being detached. you're too busy being afraid.you're afraid of the pain..afraid of the grief..afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
But by throwing yourself into this emotion, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain i..you know what love is..you know what grief is..and only then can u say "all right, i have experienced that emotion..i recognise that emotion.now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment"   
---------------  
"We all know how to be a child..its all inside of us..for me, its just remembering how to enjoy it.The truth is when our mothers held us, rocked us, stroked our heads---none of us ever got enough of that.
We all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of--unconditional love, unconditional attention.Most of us dint get enough"
---------------
"In business people negotiate to win.They negotiate to get what they want.maybe you're too used to that.Love is different.Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own"
---------------
(This is what Morrie explains to Mitch about the value of aging)
(mitch): yes i said but if aging were so valuable , why do people always say "oh if i were young again"..u never hear ppl say "i wish i were 65"He smiled "you know what that reflects?unsatisfied lives..unfulfilled lives..lives that havent found meaning..
because if u've found meaning in your life, u dont want to go back.You want to go forward.You want to see more.Do more.You you can't wait until sixty-five"
----------------

(This is Morrie's answer when questioned if he worried about being forgotten after he dies)
"I dont think i will be.I've got so many people who have been involved with me in close intimate ways. And love is how u stay alive even after you are gone"  
---------------  

(Morrie's words---on forgiveness)

"Its not just other people we need to forgive mitch" he whispered "we also need to forgive ourselves"ourselves?
"Yes..for all the things we didn't do.All the things we should have done.You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.That dosent help u when u get to where i am"

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Morrie brings a smile on your face inspte of all the pain he is living through and the best part about it is he dosen't see the pain and at times even makes u envy him...everything he says makes soo much sense...This book made me understood what they mean when they say its your perspective that matters :)
I guess thats what 'Tuesdays with Morrie' Is all about....
Mitch Albom has put it across beautifully...and on reading the book i couldn't help but fall in love with Morrie :)If u guys havent caught up on it yet, you are really missing out on something...its a read of a lifetime!!!