Sumthing in me wanted to run away, if only for a moment, to take a break. But of course i didn't, i couldn't have no matter how suffocating my own helplessness was making me feel.I was irritated, mostly at my inability to help. I was angry...
But smhw things have improved or rather i am handling things better now..and i feel better..
much better...

It's a small world.

Life - I can't decide whether it's long or short, opinions flip flop on that one - but life is reasonably long to make us forget a large part of it, as it happens. We get over most of it easily.Some, of course, we like to hold on to. In tinted, hazed versions. In pictures, boxes and words. In stories we remember every time it rains, or cry to in the darkness of nights.(i guess atleast i'm such a person)
But since it is a small world, and as I said, life is reasonably long on an average day, sometimes we run into figments of our own life that we had forgotten, lost or gotten over. Bang, they're right there in front of us. Those people, those places. Those pictures, boxes or words. Stories we half-remember. They tend to take us down nostalgic lanes, mostly hopping over things we have held on to, and sometimes revealing forgotten milestones that surprise us -pleasantly or unpleasantly.
I do not know if this ever happened to any of you.
"Hey I knew this person... I spent a good year sharing all my secrets with her, crying over her shoulder and hiding behind her to avoid getting caught for my pranks. What happened? Why don't I remember why we got over each other?"
"Ah! I don't remember ever drawing these things. God, how silly was I. Why did I ever stop?"
"This place looks familiar, and still doesn't. I know I spent years jumping around these halls, but.."
"Aww..is that really me dancing around dressed like that!!!!"
Of course, you move on. Things lose relevance quickly. That's relatively speaking. At that moment, the pace of time is slow enough to make it feel like the entire universe. Things feel different when they happen to you, I guess. The funny part is, once time has passed, we get over them so quickly that it's easy to be distant and forgetful, even more than if it were to happen now to a stranger in front of us.
It's amusing how seriously we take life still!!

An empty page stares at me

I imagine drops of ink
taking some shape, undetermined.
Thoughts rush, collude, collide
disappear, boomerang, rewind.
Sadly, my imagination is limited
words say formless, shapeless, unborn
thoughts continue to wander around blind

P.S: not that i'm out of things and thoughts to share, i guess the nmbr of things that i want to share rite nw is enormous..just can't put them to words

"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that."

i wish i knew!!!

I wish I knew all the answers in this world.
I wish I knew the right questions to the above answers .
I wish I knew why I am the way I am.
I wish I knew why the others behave with me the way they do.
I wish I knew why I am good at things I am good at.
I wish I knew why I mess up things I mess up.
I wish I knew how I feel right now.
I wish I knew where I am heading with my life..
I wish I knew something or anything at all.

Guess what's really tiring...
to act sane all the time!!!
And yes, sometimes it really is "acting", this listening to mind, applying thought, doing the 'correct' justifiable thing, being sensible process...because the heart wants to be crazy once in a while, act, think, feel, crib, cry without catering to reason.

The toughest time in life is probably when you sit with people with whom you shared a beautiful relationship, with whom you had never ending conversations blurting out almost everything and you have nothing to say! When suddenly you feel scarcity of words. When the song at media player breaks the silence. You don't have courage to look into their eyes neither do they have. Inspite of sitting next to them you can feel the thousand mile distance in between. Sitting numb just looking at watch. Thanks to cell phone they occasionally give you an excuse to take a break. With artificial smiles on face everyone around is smiling for no reason.
In the end on a more practical note,

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. :(