Being a twenty something...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like to know. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are not all that good and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at what you are studying or at ur job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you  do love someone!
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Maybe this will help you feel like you aren't alone in your state of confusion...
 
Its called "Quarter-life Crisis." Nothing is constant......except change.

Whats life without a few risks? keep playing the game

Restless

Restless tonight
No sleep in sight
Waves of questions
rise and crash
Thoughts pop
Collide and dash
Meanings threaten
To disappear in a flash
Fear reigns
In an empty night
Asks questions
Don't know where to hide

Sumthing in me wanted to run away, if only for a moment, to take a break. But of course i didn't, i couldn't have no matter how suffocating my own helplessness was making me feel.I was irritated, mostly at my inability to help. I was angry...
But smhw things have improved or rather i am handling things better now..and i feel better..
much better...

It's a small world.

Life - I can't decide whether it's long or short, opinions flip flop on that one - but life is reasonably long to make us forget a large part of it, as it happens. We get over most of it easily.Some, of course, we like to hold on to. In tinted, hazed versions. In pictures, boxes and words. In stories we remember every time it rains, or cry to in the darkness of nights.(i guess atleast i'm such a person)
But since it is a small world, and as I said, life is reasonably long on an average day, sometimes we run into figments of our own life that we had forgotten, lost or gotten over. Bang, they're right there in front of us. Those people, those places. Those pictures, boxes or words. Stories we half-remember. They tend to take us down nostalgic lanes, mostly hopping over things we have held on to, and sometimes revealing forgotten milestones that surprise us -pleasantly or unpleasantly.
I do not know if this ever happened to any of you.
"Hey I knew this person... I spent a good year sharing all my secrets with her, crying over her shoulder and hiding behind her to avoid getting caught for my pranks. What happened? Why don't I remember why we got over each other?"
"Ah! I don't remember ever drawing these things. God, how silly was I. Why did I ever stop?"
"This place looks familiar, and still doesn't. I know I spent years jumping around these halls, but.."
"Aww..is that really me dancing around dressed like that!!!!"
Of course, you move on. Things lose relevance quickly. That's relatively speaking. At that moment, the pace of time is slow enough to make it feel like the entire universe. Things feel different when they happen to you, I guess. The funny part is, once time has passed, we get over them so quickly that it's easy to be distant and forgetful, even more than if it were to happen now to a stranger in front of us.
It's amusing how seriously we take life still!!

An empty page stares at me

I imagine drops of ink
taking some shape, undetermined.
Thoughts rush, collude, collide
disappear, boomerang, rewind.
Sadly, my imagination is limited
words say formless, shapeless, unborn
thoughts continue to wander around blind

P.S: not that i'm out of things and thoughts to share, i guess the nmbr of things that i want to share rite nw is enormous..just can't put them to words

"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that."

i wish i knew!!!

I wish I knew all the answers in this world.
I wish I knew the right questions to the above answers .
I wish I knew why I am the way I am.
I wish I knew why the others behave with me the way they do.
I wish I knew why I am good at things I am good at.
I wish I knew why I mess up things I mess up.
I wish I knew how I feel right now.
I wish I knew where I am heading with my life..
I wish I knew something or anything at all.