happiness(cut short)

How many times have you asked somebody “what do you want in life?” and the answer has been “happiness”? If you have not, then do go around doing a quick dip-stick and you will realize that alas, this is the standard answer that perhaps was printed on our brain when we were all manufactured in that unique super-efficient creature factory, hidden behind inaccessible cloudy barricades.

But if you ask these same people what is happiness, you would encounter a strange lull. They either do not know the answer, or are confused, or volunteer with something that they think is right, only to realize a little later, and on several occasions at that, that something else normally turns out to make them ‘happy’. Or does it?
I read somewhere that there are only two approaches to life – the victim approach and the victimizer approach. Gory as it sounds, it is really simple and sweet. It means that either we accept that it is we who create and influence everything that happens in our life, which means we are the victimizer, OR we deem that we are the victim and things ‘happen’ to us, situations and experiences occur without our own control. The choice is totally ours. Basically, when you take responsibility for all of reality, then you give yourself the power to change anything within reality; having a handle on your own life – governing what occurs and influences you – or rather making sure it is you, and only you that influences you.

So many times if we dissect any ‘difficult’ situation we are in, we end up realizing that it is the conditions we have created in our mind that are making the situation difficult! You know, conditions about how we should be behaving, what we should be getting out of it, expectations of others from us, expectations of ourselves from us, expectations of ourselves from others; and the list is endless.
So what is my take on happiness? Well I feel we can start by doing everything we love and that makes us happy. But first, find out what makes you happy. Ask yourself this question even when it seems like the most the most tedious questions to answer. Ask yourself over and over again, in times disconnected to each other and see if the answer is consistent. Now break this answer down to the minutest of the detail – in a moment to moment manner. What about this happiness can you do on a moment to moment manner that makes you happy?
More simply Happiness is created. And  its created by doing the things that make us happy. It's the simplest thing, and yet we make it sound like a far-fetched dream.

...less words...

I have lots to write down about this week...but no motivation nor energy to actually sit down today and start...
Just wanted to say...to the people around me...
I hope you find your answers..and I hope you make a good decision...I may or may not be there...

"You are the person who has to decide.
Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up
your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind."

I have come to realise lately that I did miss out on a lot of things...expecting more maybe at times...and wanting the "right" things...(and what exactly is this supposed to mean..i do not know)
i only hope i have found just the correct answers...and am making the correct decisions now..

Being a twenty something...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like to know. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are not all that good and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at what you are studying or at ur job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you  do love someone!
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Maybe this will help you feel like you aren't alone in your state of confusion...
 
Its called "Quarter-life Crisis." Nothing is constant......except change.

Whats life without a few risks? keep playing the game

Restless

Restless tonight
No sleep in sight
Waves of questions
rise and crash
Thoughts pop
Collide and dash
Meanings threaten
To disappear in a flash
Fear reigns
In an empty night
Asks questions
Don't know where to hide

Sumthing in me wanted to run away, if only for a moment, to take a break. But of course i didn't, i couldn't have no matter how suffocating my own helplessness was making me feel.I was irritated, mostly at my inability to help. I was angry...
But smhw things have improved or rather i am handling things better now..and i feel better..
much better...

It's a small world.

Life - I can't decide whether it's long or short, opinions flip flop on that one - but life is reasonably long to make us forget a large part of it, as it happens. We get over most of it easily.Some, of course, we like to hold on to. In tinted, hazed versions. In pictures, boxes and words. In stories we remember every time it rains, or cry to in the darkness of nights.(i guess atleast i'm such a person)
But since it is a small world, and as I said, life is reasonably long on an average day, sometimes we run into figments of our own life that we had forgotten, lost or gotten over. Bang, they're right there in front of us. Those people, those places. Those pictures, boxes or words. Stories we half-remember. They tend to take us down nostalgic lanes, mostly hopping over things we have held on to, and sometimes revealing forgotten milestones that surprise us -pleasantly or unpleasantly.
I do not know if this ever happened to any of you.
"Hey I knew this person... I spent a good year sharing all my secrets with her, crying over her shoulder and hiding behind her to avoid getting caught for my pranks. What happened? Why don't I remember why we got over each other?"
"Ah! I don't remember ever drawing these things. God, how silly was I. Why did I ever stop?"
"This place looks familiar, and still doesn't. I know I spent years jumping around these halls, but.."
"Aww..is that really me dancing around dressed like that!!!!"
Of course, you move on. Things lose relevance quickly. That's relatively speaking. At that moment, the pace of time is slow enough to make it feel like the entire universe. Things feel different when they happen to you, I guess. The funny part is, once time has passed, we get over them so quickly that it's easy to be distant and forgetful, even more than if it were to happen now to a stranger in front of us.
It's amusing how seriously we take life still!!

An empty page stares at me

I imagine drops of ink
taking some shape, undetermined.
Thoughts rush, collude, collide
disappear, boomerang, rewind.
Sadly, my imagination is limited
words say formless, shapeless, unborn
thoughts continue to wander around blind

P.S: not that i'm out of things and thoughts to share, i guess the nmbr of things that i want to share rite nw is enormous..just can't put them to words