Happy B'day Random Thoughts...

Ok..officially this blog becomes an year old today...seriously speaking i never thought it would last this long..(not that i don't like writing; i luv it; but because am just  too lazy).. 

I know there are really dormant periods when i seem to be neglecting it altogether..or there are periods like this when i feel like posting everyday..

All i do is  try to put words together,to somehow make sentences and give shape to the vagueness of my random thoughts..

This is the place where I look for answers, i am the seeker or at times  the sought, i am the thinker or  the thought at times..this is where my thoughts fly, a place that allows me to be angry, allows me to be elated, allows me to learn, allows me to be sad...this is a place to evolve This is the place for me to be just me...:)

happy B'day!!!

Cute nothings...

I found today in an old journal a very cute little entry which is simmering with confusion, anger and hurt of the 12 yr old variety over seat allocation in the classroom. I have been laughing like crazy ever since. For the life of me I can't remember the specifics other than the sketchy details in the journal, and I am marveling at how wonderful memory is - it automatically erases most of the ugly parts of day to day life, because all I really remember now of being 12 is the fun, the carefreeness of life and the little moments I cherished. Yes if I really think about it I remember the few people I used to dislike or fight with, and the struggle it *felt* like. But I do have to really think about it. More or less, it was the time when scoring 95+ was easy and also mattered :D Such a nerd I was. 
Just felt now that writing journals is a useful, even if embarrassing habit. :-)
gives u reason to recall and rejoice...just wen u need a break over some cute nothings!!!

the philosophical me;

*this is just a random wierd discussion i had today...just felt like putting it here


"Life is so tough."


"Tell me something new!"


"Yeah..true...life ain't easy...and everybody feels this all the time. Life got to be the most cursed of 'em all!"


"Maybe...but the number of curses you get and deserve must be giving even life a run for its money! ;) "


"Ha ha..very funny...but I'm serious you know...all the time everybody keeps saying life is this life is that..there's just no end to those words. Half the literature of this world revolves around interpreting and symbolising life. Half the world's philosophy is just that. Yet it remains the ever-lasting enigma."


"The ever-lasting enigma...and each answer to the puzzle is as right as it is wrong, as complete as it is incomplete, as true as any other...Have you ever wondered how remarkable it is that whenever things work out fine for us and life is smooth, we so stop digging into the puzzle and nearly everything else as well. But inevitably it'll quickly return to the "normal" course again with a twist or two and we'd be back on business...thinkind, pondering, reasoning, anguished, cursing. Almost like every short sunny patch is a mini vacation for us engaged in the job of discovering life."


"I don't think it is meant to be a vacation...I feel it feels like a short vacation because we treat it like a luxurious holiday and stop doing our job. We stop putting in the effort and the thought...we take things for granted. And life surely doesn't like THAT. So it twists again, saying 'you just don't deserve it bloke' !"


"So you think we would never be able to get out of the loops, the vicious circle..."


"I don't know anything about the saints, maybe they do have some way to break out of the loops that others don't know. Maybe it is all false and there is no escape. You know this book I was reading last night...it said, Peace begins with acceptance and dies without perseverance!
Maybe I understand it a bit now. I guess there can never be an end to putting the effort as long as one is alive. That effort, the quest is the process that is the elusive meaning of life itself we seek to find. And the moment I know this, unless I stop working, I'd be at peace with myself."


"You know this now...are you at peace with yourself?"


"I will be I guess..."

Control the Controllables

Life is funny.
As always, problems magnify when they happen to us. They easily become full-blown Shakespearean tragedies, in fact, if we let them. Then you see someone else committing the same mistakes as you did, or suffering the same self-created trap you did, and something cringes inside. You rush to make it right, because it is -- just as it was back then -- largely futile. You want them to let go - it will become easier - and you remember your own reluctance in letting go. 
Life is funny, hind sight is funnier.


I think I keep realizing the same things over and over again every now and then in life. It is sad life wastes so much effort in re-educating me, and I spend so little in remembering my lessons. Once you see someone else in pain, in slow agony and you realize you care, your own pain just disappears somewhere. It is magical, it is potent. It is what we probably like to call being human. I just love it. 


So this is my new commandment to myself. Control the controllables. It is not new, it is hardly unique. But it is a good reminder to self. It makes the one most important thing easy in life: letting go. It is also incredibly important if you want to live with knowing that you are not good enough, no matter how badly you want something.


I love it.
:)

the 1% that i hate...

99% is sensible; the rest doesn't listen to the mind

99% looks forward to the future; the rest stares behind

99% wants to smile come what may; the rest is keen to cry

99% is bent at fighting it out through; the rest doesn't even try

99% sees reason, knows patience; the rest doesn't want to understand

99% forgives forgets moves on; the rest is stuck in Neverland.

99% manages to accept find peace; the rest still wants to question fate

99% wins 99% of times; the remaining 1% is what I hate.

I think the biggest thing about old friendship is that it just gets crisper and crisper with time...
Some of the friends you made...can never be let gone of...no matter what happens....things have to get back to normal...as if nothing happened...
That exactly shows the purity of that relationship...and most importantly...how much you and the other person/people value the bond you share...
It cant be let gone of ever...cant be replaced...and thats the bottom line!
I was telling a friend the other day about how i have realised the kind of person i am...and about how i can genuinely care for some people...maybe do things out of my way...
I only do things that come naturally to me...and maybe its because thats the way i am...i wont do anything out of force or compulsion...so...whatever happens...its normal..and natural...
I can not change the person that i am...i just cannot....but definitely....now...i am tryng to become more careful...and practical to some extent...
I wanna do many things...but i stop myself from doing it....somewhere its about how people with take it...and what will the consequences be...about whether or not they deserve that much of importance in my life...
I believe strongly now...that if things have to happen....if friendships are to be immortal...if a relationship has to last....it happpens naturally...and somehow...it is destined to be...

I have had some really good time and not so good time in the past few days...bt memories and moments and experiences for sure ...

...and i think its because i have learnt to let go...and not hold on to things...expecting they will materialize and be a part of my life...but doing what is to be done...and what you feel like doing...
A friend of mine told me yesterday....
"When you are around...how can someone not open up..."
It just made me smile.

thinking...just too much

Life has geared up...Its become tough...irritating...frustrating...and all the words you can put in for me to tell you i am bugged!Not that i hate it....but things are happening which i dont want to be a part of...because they'r not the things i want...I know my goal(hmm am i sure)...let me just achieve that...sumtimes there is just a block in yur life..it just happens!!!