But its all me !!!

Saying a word, stopping midway, dissolving into giggles, forgetting wat i was saying, singing some random song, losing track of the lyrics, humming away the tune...But its all me !!!

Sometimes thinking a thought and then laughing out aloud at that. For no gud reason, breaking down into tears incessantly.For no good reason..Or for too many reasons that are suppressed inside.I am this mixed bag of emotions..But its all me!!!
Sometimes may b a surge of positive energy...sometimes maybe a little disconnected..But its all me!!!
Sometimes Random blabberings, sometimes sharing stories..Sometimes blurting out things in front of people I never thought I would say..bursting of those little guarded secrets one by one...But its all me!!!
Sometimes confident, sometimes apprehensive to c my hold loosening on the present and walking into an unknown future...But its all me!!!



DREAMS!!!

"Flaunt Your Dreams with Flamboyance before It’s Too Late!"..
Came across this line while reading a random blog...and it has led me to take a  take a vow to renew my license to dream...:)
People say to me,excess dreaming leads to madness. Some say it’s a waste of time.
But for me, My Dreams are a source of motivation for me every now and then. Extremely stimulating.. Dreams are like cup of hot teas for writers, poets, painters and even normal people like me..:)..They can inspire you every morning. They can make you feel happy, they can make you feel sad. But a life without dreams is a dry and mundane and boring life..!!
Dreaming is an unconscious art. It is an abstract phenomenon that everybody experiences everyday but only a selected bunch recognizes its importance. Dreams can be life changing. They can give you all the answers for free. You just have to figure out wat they say :).. Maybe just someday you get inspired by a dream that changes yur life, maybe just someday you wake up with an inspiration that became a revolution!!!
Flaunting your dreams is perhaps the best way to express yourself. It gives you endless boundaries. Remember "out of something, something can be created but out of nothing everything can be created"..
The fusion of dreams and reality makes a real nice cocktail. Sometimes our wings suddenly vanish when dreams meet reality. Sometimes it breaks into pieces and it really takes time to gather all the broken pieces. But this never ending tug of war between dreaming and reality is Life!!!

It's amazing, the way life handles itself. It's totally crazy, the way things work out. Because between moments of roaring passion,we don't pause to think, we never realize how enormous it is. The volume of change, that each passing hour gets into my life, the way the magic of every single day that turns me inside out, makes me gasp for breath. The people I meet, the people I break up with, the people I meet to break up with. Everything has like a hidden mission I suppose, the way they work out like a chain reaction. The moments I try to brush the rust off and remember, the moments I deliberately try to get over and forget, the moments I choose to live because I know I have it in me to forget them, make my life what it is. You wouldn't understand this. You're not me. Life has to go on until it has not to. There is no big deal in that. The big deal is that, my dear, I stand here, to one end of the rope, trying to stretch out my arms and take in as much of these experiences as possible. The big deal is that, despite me, I am still writing this!!!

wondering...

I often wonder why am i like this...

sometimes practical

sometimes naive

sometimes unrealistic

sometimes real

sometimes stubborn

sometimes impulsive

sometimes thoughtful

sometimes selfish

sometimes unconditional

sometimes nervous

sometimes completly sorted

sometimes vibrant

sometimes absolutely depressing

sometimes brutally agnostic

sometimes a firm believer

sometimes in love with life

sometimes its biggest enemy

sometimes a strong feminist
sometimes a vulenerable lass

sometimes very strongminded
sometimes ultraemotional

sometimes thriving on hope
sometimes letting go a bit too fast
sometimes an enigma
sometimes a completely clear picture
sometimes a hundred alter ego's
sometimes just one me!

Dn't knw i should take it as a compliment - a multifaceted personality

or am i just a confused identity!!

Life wants me to make decisions these days. And I want to run away from them.. and therefore I try running away from life too. But I know it won't let me have my ways for ever. I know the procrastination must be given up sooner or later.
The truth is I don't want to face it. I don't want to give up one thing for the other. I want to have it all. But life moves on the wheels of decisions. And while the inevitability of the decisions gets clearer more than ever before, I would put a piece of cotton in my ears and tuck my face in some novel or magazine. Then after an hour or so I would play the music loud enough to deafen myself. The truth is I don't want to hear the life calling.
And I've discovered many silly, awkward, stupid ways for it. I would read my yesteryears poetry and make changes to it. I would play silly games with friends. I would write and publish posts on the blog and then would weigh their silliness quotient and would finally remove them. Or I would write and never publish. I'd engage in terribly stupid online chats with some of my friends though many of them are staying only metres away, and even for those who aren't near I know I should better call them. I hate hiding myself or infact hiding things from myself.But i have also realized One can't win through without facing things.
One of the resolutions made recently was not to delve in the past, which effectively means talking about the future, about shaping your life. But I forgot that exclusion of past doesn't only leave the future to be talked about but also the present. And the present is in disarray.
But It's time. It's time to follow the dreams. It's time to love my own shadow. It's time to make decisions. It's time to stop ranting. (And I know this may be the 100th time I say that..But i say it yet again!!!)
:-)

Sad,angry,irritated...

Yo Girls!!!

Dis one's specially for our girlie gang girls :)... I miss my girls..why r you so far away :(...You people hv seriously been my lifeline ever since i stepped into my college life..

Though we meet intermittently nw (infact sadly the four of us haven't met together since last day of college.. ) But even then smhw i never feel disconnected with u..we may have different exposures now but deep dwn we'r the same. Every talk i have with u makes up wel for all the times we don’t get to meet( ohk not completely but on a practical note i'll say this :P)!!! Our gal-gossips still revolves around college, our very own stylelexperiments, heart-aches and so on with an occasional philosophical and intellectual touch ;)... fond reminisces of what crazy times we’ve had together…:):) When you people are with me..It is always a period of total freedom, freedon of expression, freedom of enjoying the freedom..:)..You gave me a space where I could just be me..:)

We've had talks about everything..our hopes, our aspirations, things that make us ecstatic, things that make us sad, about things we dream of, things just thinking about which gives us ultimate pleasure;)...
We may not be the same, we may not be the best,yet we complement each other completely and in the best possible manner..and thats the beauty of it..:)...My three girls- Rakhi Singh, Chhavi Kothari, Pooja Singh...u'r simply the best in the world:)

Cheers to us!!!
Cheers to our Friendship!!!

p.s: sach mein "tera mujhse hai pehle k naata koi" :P